05 January 2014

Some funny stories

Some funny stories

***
One years, I decide to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I ditn't buy her a gift.
When he ask me why, I replied
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
.....
And that's how the fight started.
My wife ???


*
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
........
And then the fight started

***
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
....
And then the fight started.

***
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

***
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
...
And then the fight started...

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